Side sleepers need the shoulder and hip to sink while the waist stays supported. That is a narrower target than the firmness scale suggests, and body weight moves it.
Overheating at night usually is not the room temperature. It is a mattress holding heat, bedding that traps it, and a body clock doing exactly what it is supposed to.
Pillows are sold by filling and firmness, but the number that decides whether yours works is loft — and it depends on your shoulders, not your preference.
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